One Step @ a Time..

Hallelujah that this week is OVER! I haven't blogged in a while so be prepared for long one. Prepare the eyes for some readin! :)

Michele's post brought up a good point. TGIF. I remember Friday nights were the epic-ness of television. Sabrina the Teenage Witch; Step by Step; I think even Hanging with Mr. Cooper was on there for a while. No matter what the shows, they were the best. :)

So something happened this week and I don't know whether to think that it's a baby step or I'm just horrible for forgetting. This week made 7 years that Robert has been gone. This is the first year that it did NOT cross my mind or have a crying fit that day. A reason too that I may have forgotten is cause I didn't get the usual phone call from his mom this year. I usually get 2 calls from her a year. I already got the first one and usually I hear from her around this time also. Hope all is alright. I don't know how to figure out if missing the rememberance is a bad thing or good thing. As odd as this sound, everything that happened that week in '01 still effects me so much even now. I miss him. So days more than others. But slowly time has healed my wounds. It's still hard sometimes though. I'll never understand why he did what he did. I still remember talking to his parents the day after and just trying to run through my mind, WHY WHY WHY. I miss you Robert.

9/11 was this week also. I remember where I was at when I first heard. I was in first period Chemistry class with Mrs. Hobson. Our school choir had just been to NYC at the World Trade Center 4 months earlier to the day.. talk about sending chills up our back. We were there in the morning around the same time too. I still have our ticket stub from the tour and our photo from the top of the WTC. I remember when we first walked in you could take your pic in front of this background and then at the end of the tour, you could purchase them. My guy friends were like "nah I don't want to buy that." Well I did and I'm sooo glad we ended up getting it. Still weird that those towers are no longer there. Glad I got the chance to see them in person and go to the top.

The more I think about all this, 2001 was just not my year AT ALL. In May, my cat of 15 years died, (I had him since he was a kitten), June had my surgery, a week later my grandmother died of suicide, in September Robert died of suicide, a few days later 9/11 happened. That was the roughest year ever. I always tell myself that that year is the reason why I am the way I am today.

On happier notes, this week was rush week for the sorority that I wanted to get into. Got to meet all the girls and they are AMAZING! I really got to know them well and realized how much fun they all are. I got to know the girls that are pledging as well and I really wish I could be in that line. They are amazing girls and even though it was just a week of stuff, we really did become such a tight crew! We even went out after our interviews waiting for a calls cause we didn't want to be alone. We were all at Taco Bell with our phones all sitting on the middle of the table just waiting. It was priceless and cute. But due to some circumstances, I wasn't able to pledge with this class. But once Spring comes around, I'M SO THERE! Can't wait to be apart of those girls! :) Which is so weird for me to say because I used to be one of those girls that was like "Sorority just aint my thing. no no no." And now look at me! haha!

Ok, I know us girls have blogged on guys before but seriously, sometimes I really wished I knew what is going on that brain of theirs!! Why do guys stay with something that is not making them happy and pretty much has taken control of them?! And PS when the girl starts tell you who you can and can't hang out with ... UMM SERIOUSLY!! That should be a red flag. I was talking to a friend and he just did not sound 100% and I was like "dude, you don't sound like yourself at all." He then proceeds to tell me "Yeah, I don't feel like myself. I hate the way I feel. I'm not happy cause of all this." So in my mind, people that are experiencing all this usually remove the things that is causing all the pain. This is the perfect time for a Golden Girls' reference. :) People who cause problems are like pieces of shredded wheat caught in dentures. If you leave it there long enough, it causes more problems and causes irritation. However, if you remove it, then the problem goes away and you heal. Random, I know but it makes sense.

So as far as boys, I'm just taking them one at time and one day at a time. Whatever happens happens. Feelings are coming into play for ones I thought would never happen. But I'm just having fun with it all.

...after all, that's what life is all about! :)