Laughter is important in life! :)

Soo.. funniest quote from the past 24 hours -- but first, let me set up the scene. The awesome ladies of the office had a little going away party for Jenn. We are all sitting at the table eating some lovely food and we start talking about alcohol. Haley proceeds to tell us that she has NEVER had a drink! [remind you, she is over 21. So age is not the issue.] Which proceeds to this:

Michele: Wait, so you don't drink? Like at all?

Haley: Nope. Never had the desire to.

Michele: Have you been to a bar or anything? Do you go?

Haley: I've been and go to bars. I just don't drink.

Me, leaning over and whispering to Michele: That's like going to the library and not knowing how to read.

Promise it was as hilarious as it sounds!! :) That lead to Michele telling the whole table and everybody laughing. It was great! :) And now I'm famous and that quote is now on Shahala's facebook profile! SWEET. :)

Well although I'm freakishly tired and it's 1:47am and I have still yet gone to bed, today was a great day. Tomorrow starts the wonderful Spirit Days weekend. Hopefully it will all go well without a hitch. Keep the fingers crossed for us all! :)

7 years ago today ...

I can't believe it's been 7 years since my grandmother's suicide. It seems like only yesterday my mother and I were getting that call at work from my paw telling us that maw-maw was dead. I remember I had just had my surgery that week before so I still wasn't 100% back to my normal self. All I remember hearing at work was the type of scream from my mom that I never want to hear from anyone again. It was the type of scream that you only hear in the horror movies. *sigh* That whole week is just something that I wish I could just forget.

My maw-maw was a one of a kind woman. She was a security guard out at the prison. She was small thing which made that even funnier! She tried to be all bad around us but it never worked! Haha! :) I loved her so much. She would make me laugh like no one could. Her and my paw would fight sometimes but deep down they had the love for one another that I hope I can find one day. They were like a comedy act sometimes. I remember one time they came to visit and my paw was just antagozing the hell of out of maw-maw and finally she was like "Alright, we need to head home Oscar." So paw walks into our kitchen, grabs a broom and hands it to her and says "Alright, here's your ride. I'll follow you in the car." Priceless and so hilarious.

My mother and I had so many regrets and "What Ifs?" after she died. I remember being mad at her a couple of days before hand. I remember being so upset that I didn't answer the phone when she tried calling me. That was the last time she called. It took me FOREVER to let that go and for me to get over that. I always kept telling myself "What if I had just answered that phone and just got over whatever I was so ticked off at?" And I do remember what I was mad at and looking back at it now, it was the DUMBEST thing EVER. It was something that I kicked myself for because it was over something so dumb. My mom had a hard time as well because that same day maw-maw had a doctors appt at the doctor's office mom worked at. Maw-maw then asked mom if she wanted to go to lunch and talk. Mom really wasn't in the mood [they didn't have the best relationship in the world] and so she was like "Well maybe next time." That was the last time they saw each other. Mom went through the same "kicking herself" phase I did. We had the hardest time with that and it took us a long time to stop blaming ourselves for her suicide. I still have a copy of her letter she left. She left a note for me telling me that she was going to miss watching me graduate and miss my puffy checks and smile. Gosh, how I miss that woman.

Ever since then, I remember make a goal to myself that I would never let stupid things come between me and the ones I love. Always letting the people in my life know how much I love them. Sometimes thats always easier said than done. But I do the best I can. Sometimes people may feel like my constant reminder of love is annoying but for me it's the only way it helps me deal with those kinds of things in my life.

On a happier note, today was a great day. It was weird because I saw quite a few blue jays today and to me they look like that have silver wings. That in turned reminded me of the song we played at maw-maw's funeral and it was called "Silver Wings". I like to think that she is always around me, which I like. As I've stated before, I have the most amazing people in my life. I am surrounded by constant laughter and just pure happiness. If you don't have that in your life, then you just aint livin'! :)

So much to comprehend ...

Although death usually brings sadness, I truly believe it should be a celebration of that person's life as well. As hard as it may be for us to realize that person is gone, there are those moments that we begin to think back and remember that it was such a wonderful time while they were here with us. Starting last night, in a matter of a 12-hour span, I found out about 3 deaths. My best friend's frat brother, our Dean's father, and a friend's brother-in-law. WoW. One alone is hard to hear about, much less adding 2 more to that. Any death is hard to hear about but for some reason when I hear about someone that is around my age passing away, it always makes me open my eyes and put a lot of things in perspective. And it's a reminder that life is short. We are only here for a certain amount of time so we might as well make the best of it. Reminds me of a quote that I heard from cowboy Rob Smets while we were at the PBR Finals last November:

"It seems that these days most people spend their time making a living instead of making a life. We are only here for a short while and we should be making the most of it. It doesnt matter whether youre a millionaire or have the fastest car. Sometimes we all need a reality check to bring us back to what is really important"

I think my best friend had one of those reality checks today. While walking and talking with him, he told me that he wants to fix things with his dad and that they are going fishing next time he goes home. That made my heart happy. Some things are just not worth being upset about and it's just better to realize that life moves on and people make mistakes.

Ya know, we all say that we need to live everyday as if it were our last. Always easier said than done but I believe that if we strive to live like that then there is no telling how our lives would be. That's my new goal. :) And to remember that tomorrow is never promised.

Lovin' this feeling!!

So .. I'm lovin' this way that I'm feeling! :) It's like a HUGE weight has been lifted from my shoulder and it feels GREAT! And right now, this quote means so much! I was talking to my daddy earlier today and he asked how everything from the past few weeks have been going [that I have quoted as 'hell week'] and I did notice how everything from the past weeks came together. AMAZING! Even though at the time things are happening, we always think "Why the hell is this happening right now?!", but in the end we begin to think back and notice that if those things wouldn't have happend then they wouldn't be as great as they are now. So many examples alone happend on Thursday and Friday and I'm so glad they did. One of my best friends and I finally talked things out and we are better than EVER! Which totally makes me happy because I hate being on the rocks with any of my friends. I just hate being on the rocks in general with anyone, much less when it involves one of my best guy friends.

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Today in church was awesome. We talked about worship and it really got me thinking about how sometimes I let myself get away from my wonderful relationship with my maker. I still have a great relationship with Him and my Faith has seemed to be tested more than ever these past few weeks. But then I realize that He has a plan for me and I should remember that but at times it's so hard. But leaving church this morning, I just felt so alive and so refreshed. Almost like the same feeling when you leave church camp after a week. That feeling is always great to have and I hope it last for a long time.

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I was talking to my parents today and I realized just how lucky I am to have them as my parents. I am VERY lucky! They are such amazing people and they always know when to tell me "Bran - you're being selfish and you need to get your head out of your a$$." They always seem to tell me the right things even at times when I don't want to hear them. They are always looking out for me and they are truly my best friends. LOVE them to pieces. They told me today that I sounded wonderful and that I just sounded so care-free. And I really do feel that way. I can't wait til I get to go home for the weekend and see them! I'm so ready to cook out and spend time with my awesome family.

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One message I shared with most of my gal pals this weekend was: just because you may think you and a certain guy are supposed to be together, doesn't always mean you are MEANT to be together. Something that alot of girls need to think about.

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So as a closing, I really hope this week has the wonderful awesome feeling that I've had since Thursday. I'm sure it will if I just keep a smile on my face and an open mind that everyday is a new day and that God has placed some awesome and amazing people in my life. :)

F.R.I.D.A.Y

This saying could not be more true ... :)

So although this week started out a little rough, it got TONS better. It's like I always say, it's just amazing how things turn out when you least expect them. I still do believe that certain people are put in your life for a reason. And thank the good lord up above that I have some AMAZING people in my life that make me happy! :)

One exciting thing from this weekend is that I'm going up to Connecticut in August to see one of my best friends! OMG. So excited! We are gonna drive over to Boston and see where I would want to live after I graduate [which I feel like won't be for another decade and a half]! Haha! :) But I am very excited to not only see her but just to go back to Boston! *sigh* Can't wait!! :)

Pretty pumped about my mom going to California next week! She's going to have so much fun! I wish her layover was long in Dallas cause I would totally drive over to see her while she waits! But I think she's only going to be there for 30 mins. Not long enough.

So as I was reading the news today, I noticed an interesting article. In Massachusetts, there are 17 high school girls that made a "pregnancy pact" to get pregnant so they all could have their babies together. One girl got pregnant from a 24 year old homeless man. seriously. I understand friends wanting to have babies together so they grow up together and what not but when you are between 13-17.. wow. I know it's not a particular goal that I had in mind when I was that age. I could IMAGINE having a baby then. I can't even imagine having one now. I just feel like it makes you grow up faster than you need to.

I did discover one thing about females this week. We tend to over-react at the smallest things and we tend to make small things seem like an atomic bomb went off when in all reality it was just a little firework. And it's not a good feeling knowing you over-reacted either. But it just reminds yourself that one needs to get all the facts straight before they send their wrath upon someone. Haha!

Oh. Isn't it amazing how ONE text message can change the ENTIRE mood of the day? I had that happen yesterday and let me tell you, it just set the mood for the rest of the afternoon and even transfered my mood to today! Gotta love it.

So this weekend is going to be full of hanging out with friends and just relaxing. I'm really pumped about Spirit Days and all the parents that I have become BFFE with over the phone! :) Haha!

I'm also ready for the weekend that I get to go HOME!!! CAN'T WAIT! I'm just ready for 4th of July and all the festivities that come with that! Fair on the Square, cooking out, watching fireworks ... *sigh* And I can't wait to just hang out with the family! It's going to be soooo nice!

Well, I hope everyone had a fabulous Friday and a wonderful weekend! :)

The Cone...

Oh. the lovely cone. So let me explain the story that has had Katelyn and I laughing constantly, not only at the cone, but people's reaction to the cone. Which BTW, this pic was taken from my window. That hot blue cougar is my baby!

I think it's hilarious how people act sometimes! Ok there is the thing that K and I have been doing for the past week. There was this random traffic cone in the grass area [have no idea why] so the other day while we were on our way to play tennis, I was like "Let's put this is a spot and see how many people don't park there!" So we did and every time we would come back we would move it within that spot. And remind you that it's summer so parking is not that big of an issue. Now if it was Fall semester, that would be even more hilarious!!! :) Well maybe not to some people, but I know we'd get a kick out of it!

But the other night when I got back from K's house, I was sitting in my car listening to my fav song on the radio and then I noticed a car come wheeling in and was thinking "whoo hoo. a close spot!" and then they come wheeling in just to stop suddenly when they see the cone they slam on the brakes and back up! Priceless. So they backed up and parked somewhere else! Ha!

Then earlier today I was chilling at my computer just looking out the window every now and then. Well I noticed that campus cops were parked in our lot so, of course, I look out my window and see what's up. The cop gets out of the truck, walks over to the cone in the "blocked" parking spot, looks at the cone, turns around, gets back in and leaves. RANDOM. But funny at the same time.
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Update time @ 9:59pm: We moved the cone again this afternoon to another spot. Sadly, I think someone ran over the cone because it's no longer there and there is a truck in it's spot. :( Sadness. But it brought a week of laughter into our lives! :) It was that think I talked about earlier.. it's the object God puts in our life to make us laugh. This time it was cone. :)

Oh this crazy little thing we call life ...

So it's always funny how things work out... that was the main point of my day yesterday. Have you had one of those days where no matter was said to you or what was going on around you, you were still in such a great mood and still have a smile on your face?! Well that was totally me yesterday and I LOVED feeling like that! I even saw things that would normally upset me and make me question things, but not yesterday. I think yesterday was just my "peace" day. Random, I know but I understand what's being said.

I finally came to terms that my best guy friend and I are meant to be just really really great friends. It was hard. Not gonna lie. I think I just love and enjoy our friendship so much that us girls just tend to think "Well, let's see where a relationship would take us." Not always the best thing. But we finally did some talking and hanging out yesterday and just made me realize "Alright, we're gonna stay in that 'gray area' and be really great friends!" In a sense, like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. It made me feel better knowing that I wouldn't continue to have all that confusion on my mind.

Have you really ever wondered how much a person can take ... ? I mean mentally and spiritaly? You know we all say from time to time "UGH, I CAN ONLY HANDLE SO MUCH!" Right now my family is going through of those "..i can only handle so much.." phase. I truly do hate seeing them go through all this. I mean it's almost like everyone is. With the way the economy is going right now, gas prices costing all of us our first born, the price of milk being almost as high as buying a cow.. I mean it's just crazy! But today when my dad was telling my stories, all I could do was look at the humorous side of the situation and laugh. At first, he was like "WTF Brandy? Why are you laughing?!" But then I was like "Dad, sometimes that's all you can do.. You can't make yourself crazy over somethings that you have no control over. Well you kinda have control but as far as doing something about it right now..yeah, not gonna happen." He finally realized what I was saying and figured out that I was right. Brightened his day for at least a minute, which made me feel better.

But in all honesty, when you laugh it does make things a little better. I really think God makes it a point to put something in our life to just make us stop and be like "HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Today I think that point was when I went into work. The dry sense of humor that office of ladies has is just something that I believe everyone should experience from time to time. If not, then they are totally missing out.

So I'm actually ready for Spirit Days this summer. I can't believe it's my FOURTH summer to do this! WOW. I've already talked to some awesome parents and kids and I can tell who already is going to be my "spirit days mom"! I love parents like that. They are the ones that make all this worth while. I'm even a tad excited about our backpacks. Although after looking at them, I can already tell I'm gonna feel like "Dora the Explorer" while I have those on. I think I'm just gonna put it on and take a golf cart and just randomly drive by people and yell "VAMOS!" ME LLAMO DORA!" and just see what the reactions of people are. It's gonna be great!!!

Hope everyone has a great Wednesday! Just think ... Friday is almost here!!! :)

Hopefully the start of better-ness..

So today is hotter than Satan's toe nails! Oh moly. When we went to hit around a few tennis balls today, my car said it was 106 degrees outside.[P.S Don't go hitting in the heat! It feels good to sweat but wow.] And I think a cold front has moved in cause it's gone down 6 degrees to 100. Better pull out the jacket. One good thing though, got a heck of a tan in 45 mins that we were outside! Yes!

So this week is already going better than last week. Which I'm SOOO happy for. Life is always so much better when you have the most awesome in your life to help you through things and it always helps to talk things out too. And hugs can always make things better! :)

Katelyn and I did discover something today while playing a game of tennis. We don't play like normal people. Now, let me explain before you go "WTCrap Brandy?" Ok, normal people lightly hit the ball back and forth usually with a bounce in between. Yeah, not with me and Katelyn. We hit with our hardest and we do so much more better when we hit the heck out of it to each other! Usually with the no "in between" bounce. It's a great stress reliever.

Also, I'm not allowed around dirty cars when I am tispy. Let me explain, the other night I was a tad 'relaxed' and decided I should write in the dirt on Katelyn's car. Apparently I wrote "You rock balls" Totally unaware of that until Katelyn told me today that her mom noticed it this weekend. Whoops. No more car writing for me in the future. So if you have a dirty car and I've had a few drinks, and I happen to be around your car.. BEWARE.

I also discovered today that there is a certain person that I can't be mad at .. at all. No matter how much I tell myself what that person has done, the minute I see that person, I'm like "How can you be mad at a face like that?!" Ugh. Boys and their stupid, beautiful smiles. Really makes a girl week in the knees.

With all that today, today was the first time in a while that I truly didn't have anything on my mind that bothered me. Which is a nice change for me. It was also nice at work with all the phone calls being NICE and FRIENDLY parents. Love it when that happens. I even found a girl that is going to be starting the RAD program that same time I will be. The mom is excited. I think she adopted me through the telephone. Sweet.

Well I guess I should get dinner done. And for dessert... my lovely cheesecake. [I've been told it's better than that from The Cheesecake Factory :)]

.::rAiN rAiN::.

I must say I'm a huge fan of listening to the sound of summer rain showers. And according to Kenny Chesney, there is something sexy about the rain .. Ha! Sorry, just had to! But when you do have that 'special someone' to kiss in the rain, I can see what he means! Ha!

So right now I feel like life is ONE BIG ball of confusion. Everything from home life, school, love life, friendships, work life .. just EVERYTHING. I hate that feeling too. I keep having weird dreams that make me question things constantly. They are dreams that wake me up in the middle of the night and then I can't go back to sleep. They are dreams that seem so real I end up texting friends the next day to see if things are alright. I feel like nothing from the past two weeks has gone right at all. And I feel like I'm turning to the wrong things to help with this confusion ... which just adds more problems. Like I said from previous post.. I'm feeling magenta once again.

I think it's just time for a break from this place. I really really really hate not being able to make it home for Father's Day/Dad's birthday! :( But it's like .. what do ya do? Life still goes on. I'm not going to be able to make it home until 4th of July. But hey at least I'll get to make it home then. So far this summer has not been going how I planned at all so far ... hopefully things will start to look up.

T.G.I.F!!

So I'm very glad it's Friday!! I'm so flippin tired too! I slept for a good 4 hours today after work and it was FABULOUS!

Finally got my car fixed. Took a big bite out of my check book but hey as in the famous quote from my parents .. "Welcome to the Real World!"

This weekend is going to be filled with sleeping, cleaning and catchin up on my TV time! F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S!

I'm missing a friend's wedding this weekend.. Bummed about that because I haven't seen this girl since we've graduated!! 4 years ago! CRAZY! And I hadn't seen some of these people also since we've graduated. I can't believe how many people from our class are either hitched or about to get hitched. I can't imagine being married right now. I'm having too much fun here with everything and everyone! But as they say -- things happen for a reason! I know God has plans for me in a BIG way!

Hope everyone's weekend is great! :)

Magenta...

...that's how I feel. As some of you know - I'm pretty much obsessed with "The Golden Girls". They pretty much make the day better!

In the famous words of Blanche, I feel 'magenta'. Kinda like I'm feeling right now, She wasn't exactly blue, but she wasn't exactly happy and she wasn't necessarily green with envy, but she was a bunch of mixed up emotions at once - she was magenta. And that's how I've been feeling lately. Happy and yellow, sad and blue, green and slightly envious, anxious and orange, red and angry... you get my point.

I think it's just because I have so much on my mind right now, it's ridiculous. And to make it worse, it's about things that I have no control over. It's not something simple like "Oh I want a new haircut. OK let's go to the beauty shop and get it done. Problem solved." It's about decisions that are ones that work themselves out. I am such a worrier though. I always have been. That's one of the qualities that I sometimes don't like about myself. But hey, I can't help it. It's who I am. I've always been the one that tries to keep things in perfect harmony. I don't like it when there are any types of walls put up around people or awkwardness. But life wouldn't be life if all that didn't happen.

Hopefully I'll get over this mood. I hate being in this mood. I think a lot of it has to do with an action that I've made recently and it prolly just back fired on me. I really hope what I think will happen, doesn't happen. I'd be losing a wonderful friend. *sigh* Guess only time will tell. Another thing, I hate ... waiting.

Oh how I've missed thee...

Wow. I didn't realize how much I missed blogging. I used to update XANGA like everyday back in the day. Now I'm glad I decided to pick it back up again. I think I'll like this more anyways. XANGA was gettin to be full of creepers. That could just be me though ... Although I'll prolly be the only one reading this, it's still a nice outlet to vent and think some things out ...

So this weekend was full of emotions and eye openers, to say the least.

I get a phone call from my father on Friday with a shaky voice of tears forming. One thing that COMPLETELY breaks my heart is seeing/hearing a man cry (in person or phone call). He had just gone out with some buddies from work and found out that one of his co-workers/friends had been shot and killed the night before at a local bar. It hit my dad pretty hard because that night after work they had all hung out in the parking lot just chillin and unwinding after hard night of work. His friends were all going to the bar to unwind some more and invited my dad to go also. My dad said it was good and decided to call it a night. WOW. What if my dad DID go with them to the bar? Talk about an eye opener.

It made me re-think ALOT of things after talking to my dad that night. Realizing that I fret about stupid things that I have no control over and that I shouldn't be wasting my time over things that I also have no control over either. Realizing that life is too short for anything. Just have fun and remember it's YOUR life. :)

So I decided that Saturday was going to be a great day! And indeed it was. A day full of working out and playing tennis while working on my tan. YES! Can't get much better than that. Although I God did bless me with a natural tan, I still need to boost it up a tad! HAHA! :)

Today was pretty much mellow. Did quite a bit of cleaning, which is always an accomplishment. Oh- also found out that my battery is completely dead in my car. Yeah. Not always what you want to find out when you are on your way to a friend's house. Thankfully I have amazing friends that take care of me ... and will also tomorrow! :) OH- also got a beautiful new Coach purse from NYC from my fabulous friend! Pretty much a beauty! : )

So that's pretty much all for this weekend. I did find a quote that pretty much sums up the love life right now: "He's not my boyfriend but I love his hugs, his smile, his advice, his kindness and the times we laugh together. I guess I feel in love with our friendship." Couldn't have said it better myself. I've decided to let faith take care of the love life.

Goodnight! :)